The short answer? Because I wanted a romance blog that I could enjoy. And while there are plenty of blogs and groups out there, and some that I liked well-enough, none of the ones I found felt like "home" to me. So if there's something you want that you cannot find, you must create it yourself. Which is what I did/am doing. If others find this and enjoy what I do, that's great!
On that same note, if others find it and hate it and want to screw it up because they can't stand other people to be happy and joyful - there is the door, you never have to step foot here again.
My Romance Fandom Story
I came to romance novels kind of late in life. I was in graduate school when I decided to give it a try. I also grew up in a religious culture and while my mother was never a finger-waggy scold about it (hell, she had her own collection of romance novels that I absconded with a few later), it was never encouraged, as such. And I never really had that much of an interest in them.
But as time went on and I got older, I started to be curious about romance novels. I was in graduate school for library science and we often talked about serving our patrons to the best of our abilities - whether it’s needing a computer or a favorite romance novel. That last one was a bit tongue-in-cheek because of course educated people did NOT read those low-brow novels!
This was new, uncharted territory for me. Though I’d read plenty of Jane Austen, modern romance was a very different animal.
My first romance novel was In the Prince’s Bed by Sabrina Jeffries. I can’t even remember why that one caught my attention or what I was looking at when I found it (though the title is DEFINITELY eye-catching). It might have been on sale on Nook, which is why I had at the time. It was the first book in that particular series, so I bought it and LOVED it. The relationship, the plot, the story, the happy endings and, yes, the love scenes - it was enjoyable. All of it.
In fact, when I brought a few home from the library while I was in graduate school, my roommate kind of gave me the third degree about how smutty and gross they were.
Given that she was the stick-up-the-ass type that drove me crazy, I kept bringing them around just out of spite. Now, I didn’t wave them in front of her as I pranced into the house. But I didn’t make a point to hide them or anything like that.
Here was my conundrum: I like many aspects of the culture and traditions I grew up with. I like my religion well enough. But sometimes - I want to push back a little bit. Try out a few “forbidden fruits,” as it were. I’m sure I’m not the only one who feels like this. Sometimes, the strict “buttoned-up” goody-two-shoes scene gets a little suffocating. But I do have some personal limits. I don’t want to go out and sleep with everything that has a pulse. I don’t want to go get so drunk I can’t remember my name. I don’t want to run off and have some tawdry affair with a married man.
But reading about some of those things - living within the mindset of a fictional character who will buck tradition completely and still get a happy ending? Well, that’s what reading is for! To experience scenarios that we either will never have (because we live in a different time and/or place), or so we can learn about the lives of people very different from ourselves.
Reading romance was my form of minor rebellion. I still preferred to live within my culture and traditions, but this was my one vice (such as it was). And it wasn’t even a bad vice. It was kind of like eating too much ice cream. Who am I really hurting?
But I found myself with a few disapproving looks. Mostly from people whose opinions didn’t matter, so their disapproval only fueled my “rebellion.” Think about it - every culture and lifestyle has someone who comes along to wag their finger at you if you’re doing “it” wrong. Doesn’t matter what it is - if you’re not behaving as they think they should, you get crap for it.
(Sounds a little like London Society, doesn’t it? Gee, I wonder why I glommed onto Regency Romance above most anything else.)
Which brings me to the main reason the scolds get upset about me reading romance - the sex scenes.
EVERYONE, CLUTCH YOUR PEARLS AND GRAB YOUR SMELLING SALTS!!
It’s not really that bad.
As far as the sex scenes go - the best love scenes help the relationship along. They aren’t an end unto themselves. My favorite romance novels include sex scenes as a natural progression of the love story between the hero and heroine. They don’t pop out of nowhere just to titillate (and I will criticize novels that do that). While sex is a physical act, there’s also a lot of emotion and personal connection involved as well. It’s a fundamental part of being human, and to ignore that completely in romance is kind of missing a huge component of it.
That’s not to say that there’s not a place for clean romance, which there are clean romance authors that I love and will review here as well. It’s almost a subgenre unto itself. There are some wonderful stories in clean romance that take on different aspects of the genre. In some ways, it takes more talent to create a believable romantic relationship in fiction without the overt physicality.
That’s a long way to say that I like both clean romance and sexy romance. Depends on my mood or if a certain author has something new out. You have to be all one or all the other. Though it sometimes feels like there’s a line between the two and never the twain shall meet.
Nah. I’m not that. I’m good for it all (well... mostly. Christian romance - Christian fiction in general - is kind of sappy and way too preachy, so I skip that for the most part).
So you kind of see where my dilemma is. Well... it’s not THAT big of a dilemma because I’m going to read what I like and people can just go to hell. But I have found a few romance groups I like, plus some fan groups of other genres that are like my second home on the internet. And I wondered - why can’t I find something like that but for romance?
But Romance Fandom is Huge! Why Not Go There?
If the sanctimonious "ZOMG SEX IN BOOKS!" crowd is annoying, major romance fandom is toxic as hell. And it's all down to politics. Because Hera-forbid we have something that remains untouched by that garbage.
THIS IS THE ONLY POLITICAL DISCUSSION THAT YOU WILL SEE ON THIS BLOG.
EVER.
I’ll explain it in one anecdote. The day after the 2016 election, one particular prominent romance blog (I won’t name names because I’m not a jerk like that) had this overly-dramatic post about how it was a dark day and everyone needed to self-care because the world was so much more HORRIBLE than it was the day before. All because Hillary Clinton (Queen Felonia von Pantsuit) lost the election.
My response - Seriously? You’re THAT heartsick over losing an election? You’re THAT attached to an unlikeable greedy corrupt politician, just because of her genitals? (Apologies for putting the image of Hillary’s junk in your mind.) My hell, nobody told me to self-care in 2008 or 2012 and I got over it just fine. You all need to chill the fuck out.
I voted third party in 2016, but the Democrats and their lemmings have been so insane the last four years for absolutely no reason. I might not be on the Trump Train, but seeing how these people have reacted toward a man who really hasn’t done anything that a president shouldn’t do (at least, unless all you ever watch is CNN and then you think he's TEH EBILEST EBIL), AND the way that they’ve treated the people who support the president - I want nothing to do with them.
So... yeah... romance got political (like everything else, much to their detriment) and I had no desire to get involved in any fandom aspects of it. But I still loved reading romance. I didn’t necessarily need to discuss my love of it (I could go on about how I enjoyed anime as a teenager without knowing anyone else who did. Nobody was around to tell me what to like or how to like it and I enjoyed it). And if I didn’t discuss it with others, they couldn’t inject petty partisan politics into a hobby I loved precisely because I could get away from the garbage of current events.
So here's my Rule #1 - NO POLITICS. Anyone leaving comments with a political bent will have the comments deleted and they will be banned. That's it. This is your one and only warning (I'll post it elsewhere so it's more prominent). I have a zero tolerance policy for such. I don't even care if I agree with those particular politics. I created this blog to get away from all that political crap, I will be damned if it ever spreads its cancer here.
(My hell - if you’re trying to shoehorn in some dumbass modern-day third-wave feminist allegory into a Regency Romance, you’re doing LIFE wrong.)
END POLITICAL BULLSHIT
(Hey, I should put that on a bumper sticker. It certainly wouldn't go out of date, like most political bumper stickers do.)
Phew... glad that's over.
All the Happy Endings!
Fun and happy endings are the goal of Rebelite Romance Reviews. If that's your goal as well, then welcome to the party! Please kick back with your beverage of choice and enjoy what's on offer.
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